our friends Michelle & Sweet are getting married....they've set the date for the end of May and it's going to be a sunset beach wedding in Florida....I'm definately going...I put my down payment on the condo for the weekend tonight so I can't back out... I AM GOING TO BE BACK INTO MY SIZE 10'S BY THE FIRST OF MAY!!!!! I already have in mind the dress I want to wear...
My challenge will be to get my eating under control....5 small meals a day...no more letting myself go hungry during the day so when I get home at night I binge....this will not be allowed...
I will clean out my cupboards and fridge for any foods that will sabatoge me...I will give myself 1 free day but I will buy the food on that day not keep it in the house so I won't be tempted...I will eat balanced meals (not starve myself) and drink more water.....
I will push myself at the gym...no more telling myself that I can't do it (I know I can I've done it before)....If it causes me pain that's all the more better....just means that I'm doing what I'm suppose to and I know it won't last...it will get better....besides I also have another motivator for exercise....I need to get a summer job and I'm thinking that I will try to get my nephew in law to hire me....he owns his own pool service....but first I need to get in shape so I can do the physical part of the job...not sure at this time if this is even a possibility...I know he had hired some young girl last year and she may still want to work with him...I'll have to see...but it's still a good motivator.
I lost one pound this past week...I was hoping for better but at least I didn't gain...
I did a 6 mile hike with my outdoor group yesterday..It was an easy hike....
I plan on taking some of my other friends (the bride to be is one of them...we are all trying to get beach ready) next Saturday and do the same hike weather permitting....
I've signed up for a backpacking trip in Feburary....
Lots of things going on....need to keep the momentum going....easy to do on the weekend but not so easy during the week...I just need to find a way and quit making excuses.....
need to go to bed earlier so I can get up early to get my gym bag ready and my food for the day...
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Saturday, January 5, 2008
Do I give up because it's too HARD...
Hell NO....so I've had a setback and all didn't go as planned...but I will not let it get me down...I will look at what I Did WRONG and figure out a way to make it right...
I knew going to SC it would be hard to stick to the plan. I knew that Paula would have lots of sweets and junk (because that's all she eats) all around the house...I thought I was ready for it but I didn't do good...instead of eating regular healthy meals, I snacked for 3 days and then when I came home I didn't have a plan on how to eat while working..and it Shows...when I got on the scale this morning (which I forced myself altho I knew I had probably gained) instead of losing 2 pounds I had gained 2 pounds...so now I'm at 203....this is not what I want for myself..
I have all the tools to do this RIGHT...all the knowledge I've gained in the last few years losing weight..I just now have to sit down and figure out MY WAY....I know I can do this and I will not let myself be discouraged...I will not beat myself up and call myself a failure....
As Arnold said "I'll be BACK"..
I knew going to SC it would be hard to stick to the plan. I knew that Paula would have lots of sweets and junk (because that's all she eats) all around the house...I thought I was ready for it but I didn't do good...instead of eating regular healthy meals, I snacked for 3 days and then when I came home I didn't have a plan on how to eat while working..and it Shows...when I got on the scale this morning (which I forced myself altho I knew I had probably gained) instead of losing 2 pounds I had gained 2 pounds...so now I'm at 203....this is not what I want for myself..
I have all the tools to do this RIGHT...all the knowledge I've gained in the last few years losing weight..I just now have to sit down and figure out MY WAY....I know I can do this and I will not let myself be discouraged...I will not beat myself up and call myself a failure....
As Arnold said "I'll be BACK"..
Monday, December 31, 2007
So I didn't do too good
on my eating last night but I'm not going to let that stop me...I will look at what went wrong and then adjust my plan so I won't sabatoge myself and I will lose this weight...
I did good until after dinner but I just didn't feel satisfied so I ended up eating junk that I know I don't need....I sabatoged myself by not throwing away that last bit of fudge that I had hidden..thinking I would only eat one piece I ended up eating the rest of the fudge.....and once I had sugar in my system I wanted more....so I dug out those marshmellows and had a few and then I felt like I needed something crunchy& salty.....so i ate some pretzels...then I had to have some TUMS.....
OK where did I go wrong? I went back over my food plan and I see that I'm not getting enough PROTEIN....I need to get back to the Basics....Protein, Carb & Nutrients...and to promise myself a FREE DAY where I can eat anything I want...I know these are important...I just haven't been doing it...So back to the drawing board....
I know the next few days will be difficult to stick to a plan because my friends in SC do not eat healthy at all...Con tries but Paula doesn't EVER eat veggies and loves SWEETS (maybe thats why she weighs over 300 pounds). Usually I buy my own food and Con fixes me Salmon that he caught on his Alaska trip (i'm hopin for some this time too...but he told me he didn't have to much luck this year)...I know this isn't the best time for me to go as far as my getting back to losing weight but I KNOW that I'm determined enough to get back to my plan when I get back home....I know all the things I have to do...if it doesn't happen I'm not going to go into a deep depression again....I know that I have some challenges ahead of me and I will figure out the way to do what I know needs to be done....
For Breakfast this morning I cooked up the rest of the spinach & a couple egg whites with onion/fresh garlic, topped it with some parmesian Cheese and wrapped it in a spinach wrap with some thin slices of Turkey...it was good... I figure it will last me until I get to SC...I do have the rest of the Clemetines for snack that I'm taking...I don't really have a food plan for the next couple of days and I know this isn't good but I figure I'll just fly by my pants and see what happens....Usually when eating with other people I do good...it's when I'm by myself that I over indulge....More on that later...
As for the rest of my plan from yesterday, it went down the toliet too.....I never got any stretching exercises done..I used the excuse that my leg hurt too much (it really did hurt but it's all better today so I guess it was a good thing to give it a rest...)...I never got into the office to clean and I didn't go to the store to shop for the next week (figure I'll do it when I get back from SC)...I did do a pretty good job of drinking water but didn't make it to 40 oz....
So am I discourgaged...am I going to beat myself up and tell myself that I can't do this?
NO......NO..... and NO again....I will NOT let set backs sabatoge me....I will LOSE this weight and feel better about myself....I will get control of my life...
I did good until after dinner but I just didn't feel satisfied so I ended up eating junk that I know I don't need....I sabatoged myself by not throwing away that last bit of fudge that I had hidden..thinking I would only eat one piece I ended up eating the rest of the fudge.....and once I had sugar in my system I wanted more....so I dug out those marshmellows and had a few and then I felt like I needed something crunchy& salty.....so i ate some pretzels...then I had to have some TUMS.....
OK where did I go wrong? I went back over my food plan and I see that I'm not getting enough PROTEIN....I need to get back to the Basics....Protein, Carb & Nutrients...and to promise myself a FREE DAY where I can eat anything I want...I know these are important...I just haven't been doing it...So back to the drawing board....
I know the next few days will be difficult to stick to a plan because my friends in SC do not eat healthy at all...Con tries but Paula doesn't EVER eat veggies and loves SWEETS (maybe thats why she weighs over 300 pounds). Usually I buy my own food and Con fixes me Salmon that he caught on his Alaska trip (i'm hopin for some this time too...but he told me he didn't have to much luck this year)...I know this isn't the best time for me to go as far as my getting back to losing weight but I KNOW that I'm determined enough to get back to my plan when I get back home....I know all the things I have to do...if it doesn't happen I'm not going to go into a deep depression again....I know that I have some challenges ahead of me and I will figure out the way to do what I know needs to be done....
For Breakfast this morning I cooked up the rest of the spinach & a couple egg whites with onion/fresh garlic, topped it with some parmesian Cheese and wrapped it in a spinach wrap with some thin slices of Turkey...it was good... I figure it will last me until I get to SC...I do have the rest of the Clemetines for snack that I'm taking...I don't really have a food plan for the next couple of days and I know this isn't good but I figure I'll just fly by my pants and see what happens....Usually when eating with other people I do good...it's when I'm by myself that I over indulge....More on that later...
As for the rest of my plan from yesterday, it went down the toliet too.....I never got any stretching exercises done..I used the excuse that my leg hurt too much (it really did hurt but it's all better today so I guess it was a good thing to give it a rest...)...I never got into the office to clean and I didn't go to the store to shop for the next week (figure I'll do it when I get back from SC)...I did do a pretty good job of drinking water but didn't make it to 40 oz....
So am I discourgaged...am I going to beat myself up and tell myself that I can't do this?
NO......NO..... and NO again....I will NOT let set backs sabatoge me....I will LOSE this weight and feel better about myself....I will get control of my life...
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Oh the JOY
of aches and pains.....yep, I am one stiff mama this morning....can barely move...I guess I might have overdone it yesterday at the park. I did a brisk 6 mile walk around the lake..I really pushed myself this time...no leisurely walking at all....in fact I even ran a bit the second time around....but i can tell you that last mile I was really feeling it...I had some horrendous cramps in my quads and my stress fracture on my left leg was really acting up...I should have put my band on but didn't think of it...you can bet it's on this morning..
I did good sticking to my food plan (I refuse to call it a diet) except I did add a cup of hot chocolate after dinner and before bed....no heartburn last night and no tums...how good is that?
I also listened to the 2nd tape of Body for Life for motivation...one of the things he asks is that I make a list of 5 things I want to accomplish for the day to build self confidence and self trust again.....
My list for yesterday was 1. to eat only planned meals (which I did pretty much)..2. to get some cardio (hey, the park!!!!!) 3. take shower and fix hair (took the shower but didn't get to fixing hair until this morning...it takes a lot to straighten all of my hair...I have way to much and it's way to curly). 4. to fold and put away ALL the clothes I've washed this week (bad habit of just throwing clean clothes on the bed in the guest bedroom...but I did get it done even if it was LATE last night)...5. Drink 40 oz of water (if you count the water in the hot tea, then I did it).
It's amazing how GOOD it feels to know that I've actually did something and stuck to it even if it is only for one day....Building confidence in oneself is hard work....
I've either read or heard the things that are on the tapes (I read the book a couple of years ago) but it does me good to hear it again...maybe this time it will actually stick and I'll learn how to deal with Adversity when it happens in my life again....I need to delve into WHY I let myself fall back into old bad habits and depression after all I went through to lose the weight and feel good about myself (it took me two years of hard work to lose and only 6 months to undo all that hard work). Taking a good hard look at myself and really learning how to live with all that I am is one of my NEW Goals... As BP (Bill Phillips) says ADVERSITY...EXPECT IT! SUCCEED IN SPITE OF ADVERSITY...
My list of 5 things for today!!!
1. make a food plan and stick to it..
2. Drink that 40 oz of water (not counting the hot tea)
3. do some stretching but giving my body a rest today for exercise
4. work in the office...clearing up the desk and possibly some of the junk on the floor..
5. listen to the 3rd Body for Life tape...
My food plan for today is ...breakfast...a cup of hot chocolate (i've already drank it) and a bowl of hot kashi cereal....snack ....a clemetine.....lunch....soup and a salad.....snack...cup of hot tea and an apple...dinner ...more veggie lasagna (I didn't eat it all last night) and a small salad...
My challenge to myself is that it is raining today and this is the time that I find myself wanting to eat because I'm bored staying home....so I will go to WalMart to do my shopping (after I make a list of what I'm going to buy) for the upcoming week...and work in the office...then I will treat myself this evening with finishing my book I started yesterday...if the urge to eat off plan gets to hard for me I will call The Kid or my freind Angie...actually I might even go over to Angie's house to help her pack, she's moving into a new house this week...
Sounds like a PLAN....
I did good sticking to my food plan (I refuse to call it a diet) except I did add a cup of hot chocolate after dinner and before bed....no heartburn last night and no tums...how good is that?
I also listened to the 2nd tape of Body for Life for motivation...one of the things he asks is that I make a list of 5 things I want to accomplish for the day to build self confidence and self trust again.....
My list for yesterday was 1. to eat only planned meals (which I did pretty much)..2. to get some cardio (hey, the park!!!!!) 3. take shower and fix hair (took the shower but didn't get to fixing hair until this morning...it takes a lot to straighten all of my hair...I have way to much and it's way to curly). 4. to fold and put away ALL the clothes I've washed this week (bad habit of just throwing clean clothes on the bed in the guest bedroom...but I did get it done even if it was LATE last night)...5. Drink 40 oz of water (if you count the water in the hot tea, then I did it).
It's amazing how GOOD it feels to know that I've actually did something and stuck to it even if it is only for one day....Building confidence in oneself is hard work....
I've either read or heard the things that are on the tapes (I read the book a couple of years ago) but it does me good to hear it again...maybe this time it will actually stick and I'll learn how to deal with Adversity when it happens in my life again....I need to delve into WHY I let myself fall back into old bad habits and depression after all I went through to lose the weight and feel good about myself (it took me two years of hard work to lose and only 6 months to undo all that hard work). Taking a good hard look at myself and really learning how to live with all that I am is one of my NEW Goals... As BP (Bill Phillips) says ADVERSITY...EXPECT IT! SUCCEED IN SPITE OF ADVERSITY...
My list of 5 things for today!!!
1. make a food plan and stick to it..
2. Drink that 40 oz of water (not counting the hot tea)
3. do some stretching but giving my body a rest today for exercise
4. work in the office...clearing up the desk and possibly some of the junk on the floor..
5. listen to the 3rd Body for Life tape...
My food plan for today is ...breakfast...a cup of hot chocolate (i've already drank it) and a bowl of hot kashi cereal....snack ....a clemetine.....lunch....soup and a salad.....snack...cup of hot tea and an apple...dinner ...more veggie lasagna (I didn't eat it all last night) and a small salad...
My challenge to myself is that it is raining today and this is the time that I find myself wanting to eat because I'm bored staying home....so I will go to WalMart to do my shopping (after I make a list of what I'm going to buy) for the upcoming week...and work in the office...then I will treat myself this evening with finishing my book I started yesterday...if the urge to eat off plan gets to hard for me I will call The Kid or my freind Angie...actually I might even go over to Angie's house to help her pack, she's moving into a new house this week...
Sounds like a PLAN....
Saturday, December 29, 2007
12 week plan
So I got up this morning and weighed myself...It's not as bad as I thought it would be after the week I've had sitting around and doing nothing but stuffing my face. I had in my mind from the way I felt in my clothes that I had probably put on another 8-10 pounds but it was only 1 pound gain from a week ago. (I shouldn't say only because 1 pound can add up real fast if I don't put a stop to it)..It's not Good either but I can't take back the last week I can only move forward...
Weight: 201
I had a really good day yesterday ...I stuck to my plan and ate ONLY what I said I would eat...I did have a cup of tea with honey during the afternoon ... The hardest part of the day for me has always been in the evening after dinner. I know that alot of my problem with my heartburn/reflux (yes it's back with a vengeance) is because I've been eating before going to bed...also sugar is a big culprit....these are 2 of the hardest things for me to do without....but I did it last night by telling myself all the reasons WHY I didn't need more to eat and I can do it tonight...it's nice being able to sleep with out the reflux....this should be motivation to me but when I'm depressed all I can think about is treating myself and filling that hole. I remember how nice it was not to have heartburn/reflux ever....I still had to have a couple of tums after dinner because of the jello but it's definitely a step in the right direction...I remember before I lost all the weight last time that I was eating about a large bottle of tums every week...right now I'm at eating a couple of tums at night before going to bed....I know that I can get away from that totally once I get this sugar urge under control..I did it before and I can do it again.
Some of the things that helped get me through last night was doing my dishes right after I ate...I hate messing up my clean kitchen...drinking water when my mind told me I was hungry...allowing myself that one cup of hot tea for comfort...keeping in mind that I would be weighing myself this morning and I didn't want to undo all the hard work I had done all day long..
As I said One of the things that helped me yesterday was drinking water...I made myself drink a glass of water before and after I ate and every time I thought about going in the kitchen to get something else to eat..this gave me that full feeling and also helped me get more water in to wash away all the toxins in my body....Hey my pee was clear by bedtime...this is GOOD...it put me at 32 oz of water for the day...I need to be drinking at least 64 oz a day again...
I got in some exercise yesterday too...I didn't let the rainy day stop me just because I couldn't get out so I dug out a couple of tapes I had from before. The first one is Pilates for Dummies....I've never been crazy about Pilates (my core strength has always been a problems since I have vertigo from a cracked eardrum I got when I was a kid) but I didn't do as bad as I thought, I got through most of the exercises and will go back to it tomorrow and do it again.I might even take a class at the gym someday once I get the moves down....I learned from past experiences not to get discouraged when I start new moves because the more I do them the easier they get...I learned that from Kickboxing and Hip Hop...I may never be good at it like some people but the real reason I do them is to get more strength and agility in my body so who cares if I'm not an expert just as long as I do something...the other was Billy Banks Tae Bo Energy tape...I knew this one would be hard but I had lent my Billy Banks for over 40 to my neighbor Esther and she has never returned it. But I made it through most of the tape...the first part goes over all the moves for upper and lower body and also shows some good stretching exercises...the last part (which I didn't do) is the energy part that really moves something I will have to work myself up to again...to think that this was something I could do easily a couple of years ago shows how much I've let myself go...
Then after I worked out (I did work up a sweat and I can feel it my muscles today) I found some motivational tapes ...Bill Phillips Body for Life...although I never went for his challenge I have read his book and he has a lot of good suggestions on how to gain Mental and Physical Strength....I don't agree with everything he says but most of it makes sense...anyway there are 4 tapes and I listened to the first one yesterday..I will listen the second one today and take notes because I know I need to reinforce what I've learned in the past about losing weight and KEEPING it off.. It's a 12 Week Plan and so I've decided to make my own 12 week plan....It's still in the Planning Stages but here's what I've come up with so far....
MY main goal is to lose 2 pounds a week....that will put me at 177 pounds in 12 weeks..Starting today..March 8th is my target date...to do this I will have to:
1. eat healthy
2. exercise
3. drink water
4. Journal
Sounds easy right..but Some of my challenges will be:
Eating healthy while on a budget....I have been telling myself that the reason I eat so much pasta and sugar is because I can't afford to eat fresh veggies and all the health foods I was eating...I've decided to find out if this is really true or if there is a way to eat the way I know I should be eating and spend the same amount of monies...There has to be a way..I just have to find it...
One of my problems will be lunch while I'm working...I want to get back to taking a lunch but since I won't be coming home most days but going to the gym I need to figure out a way to take a hot lunch...I did buy a big mouth thermos and took some soup one day but it didn't keep it hot...back to the drawing board on that one...
Drinking Water..the excuse I've used lately is that I can't drink as much water as I need to be drinking while driving the bus..one reason is that there isn't a handy bathroom..(ok here's where I go back to one of my main goals to be honest with myself) this isn't exactly true because I can use the bathrooms in the schools but it's tricky in the morning because I'm on a very tight schedule...to be honest that's only for 2 hrs...I have a lay over at 7 that I always go to the bathroom and the afternoon I always have time between routes except for my last pickup at the middle school...so we're really only talking about a couple of hours at the most...NO EXCUSE...I always take a cooler with water with me on the bus...so There is no EXCUSE not to drink the amount of water I need to be drinking....besides I know that after my body adjusts to drinking lots of water that I don't need to go pee as much as I do at first....
Exercise.....No more excuses here either....I have 3 hours between my morning route and afternoon route that I can go to the gym...it's closer than coming home and will save me gas monies....I've done it a couple of times and know that it works good for me....the days that I have to take my bus in to the shop or have staff meeting I can either go the gym at night or I can come home and work out to the tapes I have here....I know from the past experience if I am to have the body I want that I need to work out and gain muscle and strength...after 2 years with a personal trainer and one year of working out by myself I know how to do it..I just have to force myself to get started again....If I find that I can't afford the gym anymore there are still things I can do on my own....I do have tapes and some weights that I can work out with here at home...besides my niece has all the equipment that I need..also I can always get back into running....which I'm planning on doing anyway...and hiking and backpacking is a good way to relax and also work out...the only reason I can see that i don't want to give up the gym is because of the racquetball...this is something I can't figure out how to replace...I love racquetball...lately I haven't been playing as much because I hate how I look in my gym clothes...I know this is stupid but I just know everyone is looking at me thinking how I've failed by getting fat again...so
Motivation ....is a big challenge for me....to keep motivated I will need to dig out all my motivational tapes...books...and articles that I've kept....Before I belonged to eDiets but I think I outgrew them...got tired of all the same problems (which I'm having now) i thought I had it all figured out..told myself that I didn't need to spend the monies because after I quit my job I wasn't on the computer that much....Now I know that I need a support group...and I think I have found one at work....there are a couple of women who really need to lose weight but in my opinion are going about it the wrong way...I'm going to see if I can't come up with a plan and get them involved too. Especially my friend Angie...she's a beautiful womer over 300 pounds who really wants to lose the weight...we have another friend Veronica who loves to sabatoge Angie and I feel I really need to give Angie the support she needs...this will give me motivation also...so it's definately a win win situation...I just have to work out the details because Angie belongs to a differant gym than I do also here eating habits are really terrible, she also wants to lose the weight fast...boy do I have my work cut out for me here.....
Journal...I seem to find so many excuses not to come here during the week...like I don't want to face my failures...so simple cut the failures out....not so simple ..we all know that life will throw things at you out of the blue...no one has perfect days everyday...there are days that are just plain the shits...but journalling can help me keep on track...I know this from the past ...so i tell myself that no matter how tired I am when I get home from work and the gym I will come here and journal even if it's just a sentence or two...who says it always has to be a big long blog...
TODAY'S PLAN
Food...an egg/spinach omelet, a clemetime and a cup of hot tea for breakfast..and for lunch... the rest of the lentil soup from yesterday and a salmon wrap..then for dinner ..left over veggie lasagna from Christmas Eve...(I froze the left overs)..and a salad...I think I've covered all the bases except maybe a snack if I feel I need it ..another clemetine or an apple if I feel the need for something sweet and crunchy....I also have some carrots in the fridge but I think I'll save them for another time....
Motivation...I will listen to the 2nd tape of Body for Life and take notes and come back here tomorrow to write down what I've learned...
Exercise...it's cloudy and cold outside but if my truck will start I think I'll still go to the park and walk...I need to get some cardio in today since I worked on all over body strength yesterday. If my truck doesn't start then I will do the Tae Bo Engery tape...
Water...my goal is to drink 40 oz today...this is only 8 oz (1 glass/bottle) more than yesterday...
Journal...I'm up one already today....Yay...And I'll be back tomorrow for more...
Weight: 201
I had a really good day yesterday ...I stuck to my plan and ate ONLY what I said I would eat...I did have a cup of tea with honey during the afternoon ... The hardest part of the day for me has always been in the evening after dinner. I know that alot of my problem with my heartburn/reflux (yes it's back with a vengeance) is because I've been eating before going to bed...also sugar is a big culprit....these are 2 of the hardest things for me to do without....but I did it last night by telling myself all the reasons WHY I didn't need more to eat and I can do it tonight...it's nice being able to sleep with out the reflux....this should be motivation to me but when I'm depressed all I can think about is treating myself and filling that hole. I remember how nice it was not to have heartburn/reflux ever....I still had to have a couple of tums after dinner because of the jello but it's definitely a step in the right direction...I remember before I lost all the weight last time that I was eating about a large bottle of tums every week...right now I'm at eating a couple of tums at night before going to bed....I know that I can get away from that totally once I get this sugar urge under control..I did it before and I can do it again.
Some of the things that helped get me through last night was doing my dishes right after I ate...I hate messing up my clean kitchen...drinking water when my mind told me I was hungry...allowing myself that one cup of hot tea for comfort...keeping in mind that I would be weighing myself this morning and I didn't want to undo all the hard work I had done all day long..
As I said One of the things that helped me yesterday was drinking water...I made myself drink a glass of water before and after I ate and every time I thought about going in the kitchen to get something else to eat..this gave me that full feeling and also helped me get more water in to wash away all the toxins in my body....Hey my pee was clear by bedtime...this is GOOD...it put me at 32 oz of water for the day...I need to be drinking at least 64 oz a day again...
I got in some exercise yesterday too...I didn't let the rainy day stop me just because I couldn't get out so I dug out a couple of tapes I had from before. The first one is Pilates for Dummies....I've never been crazy about Pilates (my core strength has always been a problems since I have vertigo from a cracked eardrum I got when I was a kid) but I didn't do as bad as I thought, I got through most of the exercises and will go back to it tomorrow and do it again.I might even take a class at the gym someday once I get the moves down....I learned from past experiences not to get discouraged when I start new moves because the more I do them the easier they get...I learned that from Kickboxing and Hip Hop...I may never be good at it like some people but the real reason I do them is to get more strength and agility in my body so who cares if I'm not an expert just as long as I do something...the other was Billy Banks Tae Bo Energy tape...I knew this one would be hard but I had lent my Billy Banks for over 40 to my neighbor Esther and she has never returned it. But I made it through most of the tape...the first part goes over all the moves for upper and lower body and also shows some good stretching exercises...the last part (which I didn't do) is the energy part that really moves something I will have to work myself up to again...to think that this was something I could do easily a couple of years ago shows how much I've let myself go...
Then after I worked out (I did work up a sweat and I can feel it my muscles today) I found some motivational tapes ...Bill Phillips Body for Life...although I never went for his challenge I have read his book and he has a lot of good suggestions on how to gain Mental and Physical Strength....I don't agree with everything he says but most of it makes sense...anyway there are 4 tapes and I listened to the first one yesterday..I will listen the second one today and take notes because I know I need to reinforce what I've learned in the past about losing weight and KEEPING it off.. It's a 12 Week Plan and so I've decided to make my own 12 week plan....It's still in the Planning Stages but here's what I've come up with so far....
MY main goal is to lose 2 pounds a week....that will put me at 177 pounds in 12 weeks..Starting today..March 8th is my target date...to do this I will have to:
1. eat healthy
2. exercise
3. drink water
4. Journal
Sounds easy right..but Some of my challenges will be:
Eating healthy while on a budget....I have been telling myself that the reason I eat so much pasta and sugar is because I can't afford to eat fresh veggies and all the health foods I was eating...I've decided to find out if this is really true or if there is a way to eat the way I know I should be eating and spend the same amount of monies...There has to be a way..I just have to find it...
One of my problems will be lunch while I'm working...I want to get back to taking a lunch but since I won't be coming home most days but going to the gym I need to figure out a way to take a hot lunch...I did buy a big mouth thermos and took some soup one day but it didn't keep it hot...back to the drawing board on that one...
Drinking Water..the excuse I've used lately is that I can't drink as much water as I need to be drinking while driving the bus..one reason is that there isn't a handy bathroom..(ok here's where I go back to one of my main goals to be honest with myself) this isn't exactly true because I can use the bathrooms in the schools but it's tricky in the morning because I'm on a very tight schedule...to be honest that's only for 2 hrs...I have a lay over at 7 that I always go to the bathroom and the afternoon I always have time between routes except for my last pickup at the middle school...so we're really only talking about a couple of hours at the most...NO EXCUSE...I always take a cooler with water with me on the bus...so There is no EXCUSE not to drink the amount of water I need to be drinking....besides I know that after my body adjusts to drinking lots of water that I don't need to go pee as much as I do at first....
Exercise.....No more excuses here either....I have 3 hours between my morning route and afternoon route that I can go to the gym...it's closer than coming home and will save me gas monies....I've done it a couple of times and know that it works good for me....the days that I have to take my bus in to the shop or have staff meeting I can either go the gym at night or I can come home and work out to the tapes I have here....I know from the past experience if I am to have the body I want that I need to work out and gain muscle and strength...after 2 years with a personal trainer and one year of working out by myself I know how to do it..I just have to force myself to get started again....If I find that I can't afford the gym anymore there are still things I can do on my own....I do have tapes and some weights that I can work out with here at home...besides my niece has all the equipment that I need..also I can always get back into running....which I'm planning on doing anyway...and hiking and backpacking is a good way to relax and also work out...the only reason I can see that i don't want to give up the gym is because of the racquetball...this is something I can't figure out how to replace...I love racquetball...lately I haven't been playing as much because I hate how I look in my gym clothes...I know this is stupid but I just know everyone is looking at me thinking how I've failed by getting fat again...so
Motivation ....is a big challenge for me....to keep motivated I will need to dig out all my motivational tapes...books...and articles that I've kept....Before I belonged to eDiets but I think I outgrew them...got tired of all the same problems (which I'm having now) i thought I had it all figured out..told myself that I didn't need to spend the monies because after I quit my job I wasn't on the computer that much....Now I know that I need a support group...and I think I have found one at work....there are a couple of women who really need to lose weight but in my opinion are going about it the wrong way...I'm going to see if I can't come up with a plan and get them involved too. Especially my friend Angie...she's a beautiful womer over 300 pounds who really wants to lose the weight...we have another friend Veronica who loves to sabatoge Angie and I feel I really need to give Angie the support she needs...this will give me motivation also...so it's definately a win win situation...I just have to work out the details because Angie belongs to a differant gym than I do also here eating habits are really terrible, she also wants to lose the weight fast...boy do I have my work cut out for me here.....
Journal...I seem to find so many excuses not to come here during the week...like I don't want to face my failures...so simple cut the failures out....not so simple ..we all know that life will throw things at you out of the blue...no one has perfect days everyday...there are days that are just plain the shits...but journalling can help me keep on track...I know this from the past ...so i tell myself that no matter how tired I am when I get home from work and the gym I will come here and journal even if it's just a sentence or two...who says it always has to be a big long blog...
TODAY'S PLAN
Food...an egg/spinach omelet, a clemetime and a cup of hot tea for breakfast..and for lunch... the rest of the lentil soup from yesterday and a salmon wrap..then for dinner ..left over veggie lasagna from Christmas Eve...(I froze the left overs)..and a salad...I think I've covered all the bases except maybe a snack if I feel I need it ..another clemetine or an apple if I feel the need for something sweet and crunchy....I also have some carrots in the fridge but I think I'll save them for another time....
Motivation...I will listen to the 2nd tape of Body for Life and take notes and come back here tomorrow to write down what I've learned...
Exercise...it's cloudy and cold outside but if my truck will start I think I'll still go to the park and walk...I need to get some cardio in today since I worked on all over body strength yesterday. If my truck doesn't start then I will do the Tae Bo Engery tape...
Water...my goal is to drink 40 oz today...this is only 8 oz (1 glass/bottle) more than yesterday...
Journal...I'm up one already today....Yay...And I'll be back tomorrow for more...
Friday, December 28, 2007
I'm not going to let the depression win today!
It's been almost a week since I had the big brain storm to start this blog and I haven't followed through...I've been off work all week and have only myself to blame for not sticking to my "big plan" of starting over...sure it's Christmas and "I deserve a break" but if I'm honest with myself (and that's one of my goals)...I just keep putting off what I know I need to do...instead I've sat around the house reading, watching tv or playing games on the computer and EATING....I'm afraid to get on the scale because I KNOW I've gained more weight (but I will tomorrow and come here and record it)...I can tell by looking in the mirror and also how uncomfortable I am in my clothes...I've been hanging around in my old housecoat which I used to wear when I weighed 235 plus....This is NOT good for me mentally or physically...
I need to control my eating and get more serious exercise and to come here and blog...It's that simple so why haven't I? Do I need more Motivation?
Yesterday my son in law came over to do some things for me around the house and this has given me some motivation to get some things done that I've been wanting to get done for awhile but have found excuses not to do them...
I had to pull out a pair of sweats this morning that was way to big for me a year ago...well they are tight on me today (talk about motivation)...lately this would have put me in a depression and I would head for the kitchen to find something to soothe me, grab a book and spend the day reading telling myself that it's no use I'm just meant to be FAT...
Eating:
Today I decided to come here instead after I eating my breakfast of Kashi cereal, a banana and a cup of hot chocolate...this was at 9 am and I will not eat anything else until 1 pm...I can drink all the water I want and I really do need to get back to drinking more water...I'm no where near to drinking a gallon of water a day...I know this will make me feel full and take away some of the cravings I've been having...for lunch I have salad (left over from Christmas Eve) that I need to finish up maybe a cup of lentil soup (it a good day for soup being rainy) then for dinner I have planned my favorite spinach turkey wrap and a jello salad (again left over from Christmas Eve) for something sweet...It's a beginning and I found in the past that if I plan what I eat and stick to it that it's better than spending all that time in front of the refrigerator trying to figure out what I feel like eating and usually settling for something that doesn't satisfy me so I keep eating more to feel that hole in my gut....
Motivation:
I remember how GREAT I felt when I got down to size 10..how I loved to exercise, going to the gym working out or getting out in the fresh air and running at the park (even in the rain and cold)...how great it was to go hiking and be able to keep up with everyone...how food did not rule the day but getting out and having fun did....I remember how easy it was to find something to wear because every thing in my closet fit me and I looked good in them....now I spend so much time in the morning trying on things and settling for the same old big clothes (I refuse to buy new clothes until I lose this weight) I remember the way I loved looking in the mirror and seeing someone who was not only attractive and cared about herself but someone who was Happy...I hardly ever make up my face anymore..All these things should Motivate me but instead Lately I've let them depress me because I've let myself go for so long.....I need to get a plan and stick to it....not just for one day but for the rest of my life..I need to feel that I'm worth all this effort and to know that I'm not meant to be "FAT" but meant to be "Fit". I want to FEEL GOOD about myself again!
Exercising:
I was going to go the park this morning but it's cold and raining....A year ago this won't have stopped me but I just can't make myself do it...so what are my other options....I could go to the gym and work out but my truck is having problems (I think it's the alternator...hopefully I can get my son in law to look at it tomorrow) and I don't have the monies for gas to get there....so what else can I do....hey I remember I have some old tapes of exercise (kickboxing and belly dancing, I think I'll forget the belly dancing altho I definately have the belly for it now...lol) so I will get it out and do them here at home... if not them I'm sure there is some exercise classes on the tv (after all I've got all those channels there must be something there that can help me)
One of the excuses I've used for not pushing myself in exercising is that I don't want to be sore...well nobody wants to have the pain of sore muscles but hey that shows that you are definately doing something and the more you do it the less pain you have to bare..so now is as good as anytime to start... NO MORE EXCUSES
I'll be back tomorrow to let you know how I did today....
I need to control my eating and get more serious exercise and to come here and blog...It's that simple so why haven't I? Do I need more Motivation?
Yesterday my son in law came over to do some things for me around the house and this has given me some motivation to get some things done that I've been wanting to get done for awhile but have found excuses not to do them...
I had to pull out a pair of sweats this morning that was way to big for me a year ago...well they are tight on me today (talk about motivation)...lately this would have put me in a depression and I would head for the kitchen to find something to soothe me, grab a book and spend the day reading telling myself that it's no use I'm just meant to be FAT...
Eating:
Today I decided to come here instead after I eating my breakfast of Kashi cereal, a banana and a cup of hot chocolate...this was at 9 am and I will not eat anything else until 1 pm...I can drink all the water I want and I really do need to get back to drinking more water...I'm no where near to drinking a gallon of water a day...I know this will make me feel full and take away some of the cravings I've been having...for lunch I have salad (left over from Christmas Eve) that I need to finish up maybe a cup of lentil soup (it a good day for soup being rainy) then for dinner I have planned my favorite spinach turkey wrap and a jello salad (again left over from Christmas Eve) for something sweet...It's a beginning and I found in the past that if I plan what I eat and stick to it that it's better than spending all that time in front of the refrigerator trying to figure out what I feel like eating and usually settling for something that doesn't satisfy me so I keep eating more to feel that hole in my gut....
Motivation:
I remember how GREAT I felt when I got down to size 10..how I loved to exercise, going to the gym working out or getting out in the fresh air and running at the park (even in the rain and cold)...how great it was to go hiking and be able to keep up with everyone...how food did not rule the day but getting out and having fun did....I remember how easy it was to find something to wear because every thing in my closet fit me and I looked good in them....now I spend so much time in the morning trying on things and settling for the same old big clothes (I refuse to buy new clothes until I lose this weight) I remember the way I loved looking in the mirror and seeing someone who was not only attractive and cared about herself but someone who was Happy...I hardly ever make up my face anymore..All these things should Motivate me but instead Lately I've let them depress me because I've let myself go for so long.....I need to get a plan and stick to it....not just for one day but for the rest of my life..I need to feel that I'm worth all this effort and to know that I'm not meant to be "FAT" but meant to be "Fit". I want to FEEL GOOD about myself again!
Exercising:
I was going to go the park this morning but it's cold and raining....A year ago this won't have stopped me but I just can't make myself do it...so what are my other options....I could go to the gym and work out but my truck is having problems (I think it's the alternator...hopefully I can get my son in law to look at it tomorrow) and I don't have the monies for gas to get there....so what else can I do....hey I remember I have some old tapes of exercise (kickboxing and belly dancing, I think I'll forget the belly dancing altho I definately have the belly for it now...lol) so I will get it out and do them here at home... if not them I'm sure there is some exercise classes on the tv (after all I've got all those channels there must be something there that can help me)
One of the excuses I've used for not pushing myself in exercising is that I don't want to be sore...well nobody wants to have the pain of sore muscles but hey that shows that you are definately doing something and the more you do it the less pain you have to bare..so now is as good as anytime to start... NO MORE EXCUSES
I'll be back tomorrow to let you know how I did today....
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Today is the first day...
Starting over is no fun but I know it has to be done...AND I NEED TO START TODAY..There is no tomorrow in my life...
This is my journal where I will come to record ALL that I need to get this weight off...I'm not proud of some of the things I will be recording...like my weight, my measurements....and my diet....but my first goal is to be HONEST with myself..I am only hurting myself when I lie about where I am at and what I have done...so Being Honest to me means NO EXCUSES...if I have a "bad" day and don't do what I know I need to do..I will own up to it here....maybe by doing that it will get easier...I've done this journey of losing weight and getting healthy so many times that I know I can do it I just need to buckle down and start now..
This blog will be ONLY for my Fitness journal.. I have my other blog (ME, MYSELF & I) when I have other things to blog or I want to be witty and funny...
This is my place to come and if others want to join the journey it's alright with me...I need all the support that I can get....
This is my journal where I will come to record ALL that I need to get this weight off...I'm not proud of some of the things I will be recording...like my weight, my measurements....and my diet....but my first goal is to be HONEST with myself..I am only hurting myself when I lie about where I am at and what I have done...so Being Honest to me means NO EXCUSES...if I have a "bad" day and don't do what I know I need to do..I will own up to it here....maybe by doing that it will get easier...I've done this journey of losing weight and getting healthy so many times that I know I can do it I just need to buckle down and start now..
This blog will be ONLY for my Fitness journal.. I have my other blog (ME, MYSELF & I) when I have other things to blog or I want to be witty and funny...
This is my place to come and if others want to join the journey it's alright with me...I need all the support that I can get....
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